This is she
by feathered moon wings
Summary: It's been a month since Arthur died and Merlin can't bring himself to sleep. Things just blur before him but he doesn't seem to be able to care anymore. Arthur is dead. It is a strange thing, that they meet again, she and him. Queen Mab. "You are in pain, little one." She can give him comfort, at least one night so he can forget. Just one night. (No OC'S. Just friendship-ish stuff)


With eyes half opened and not enough interest, Merlin stares into the night. It is rather beautiful, the night, but it seems that such a concept –that is usually so natural to the boy– has no meaning nor presence to him at all.

The orchestra of crickets and night wildlife is a constant tone at the back of his consciousness; calm and permanent, like a single note that never ends.

There is no moon that night, but it doesn't matter, not to Merlin that is. If it had mattered to him, perhaps he would've gazed more closely at the dim light of the fireflies, which drifted lazily from leaf to leaf.

Everything is in perfect harmony and the air is pleasantly warm, but Merlin does not care. And so there he lays, in a bed of soft grass blades and mold that is oddly comfortable, with eyes half opened and looking at the thick foils of the forest with its beautiful sounds and its soothing lights.

' _It is like magic._ 'He thinks without much interest.

But it's not really that he can't bring himself to care, but rather that he is too sad to try. He fears, if he were to do so, he would not be able to stop crying.

"Oh, little one." Says a clear voice close by. "What ails you heart?" This voice does not break the harmony of the forest, instead it is so in tone with it that it seems suddenly complete.

The young man cranes his head back so he can see the owner of the voice from where he is lying on his side.

"Mab…" He whispers, almost unconsciously to not break the balance of the woodland.

He is so surprised to see the little fae, it's been so long since he saw her first and last, he never thought he'd lay eyes upon her tiny form again.

"Yes, it is I." Her eyes are sharp, but she looks at him almost gently, not like the last time, nothing like that; the last time she had mocked him, a permanent smugness in her spritely features.

He does not know what to say, and Mab in return does not say a thing.

The silence stretches, but it is not empty, there is a ballad in the forest and it is eternal, there is no need to fill the silence with words.

"Arthur is dead." He says at last and from the corner of his eye escapes a wayward tear that falls into the grass.

"I know." The little queen says in return.

They are silent again and the queen of the fairies flies in front of his body so the warlock won't hurt his neck. Merlin looks at her tiny form covered in leafs and asks.

"Why are you here?"

She tilts her head a bit and from her crouched position she answers.

"I felt your pain, little one. It stretched far and reached wide until it arrived at my forest and filled my heart and I had no other choice but to cry out." She explains truthfully. Her gaze softens a little. "Lots of us felt it; it was like a sorrowful song and the creatures of magic, and a few who are not, heard it when the sun was high and long after too."

The young man takes a shuddering breath to calm his beating heart, he does not want to cry again, he fears he will never stop once he starts.

"I'm sorry for your pain Queen, but I do not know how to stop mine." He explains with a grimace. "If there were any way-"

"You misunderstand, yet again." She smiles and Merlin thinks of that fateful day in the dark tower, and that same sharp smile one night before.

"Then… why have you come." He asks slowly and careful of his words, he knows how quick could the fairies' change of mood could be and he did not want to insult her.

"Well, you are in pain, of course, I feel you are in despair." She hops closer to his face until she almost touches it "I see you and the journey you made a full moon cycle ago. You have not made the journey back home, little one. Does your heart not desire comfort?" She asks, honestly curious.

"I don't think… that people would take me back after I've failed and now that they know what I am. I don't think I can face them after Ar…" he gulps the word back into his throat. "Even if they would welcome me with open arms, I do not think I'd be able to accept their comfort, because you see…"

"You do not think you deserve such thing." She finished for him, unfazed.

Merlin closes his eyes, the slight sense of shame rising in his chest.

"You are silly, little one. Why should a being such as yourself ever feel undeserving of something as pure of nature as comfort from the ones he loves? You are a being of magic and more than anything, magic itself. You are pure like the feeling you seek but deny; like a bat yearning for darkness, but running towards the light."

"Mab, _please_." He begs almost desperately "Stop talking in riddles and circles. Please, tell me why have you come?"

"Shall I speak in rhyme, then?" She asks with the shadow of a jest, the corner of her lip tugging upwards as she remembers the first time he asked that and such was the answer she gave.

He looks at her sadly without giving the fae an answer and her smile leaves her face.

"You are weary, little one." She says, placing her tiny hands on his nose "You have not slept since the death of your other half, that is an awfully long time, even your magic may not hold you forever if you keep this going."

"I cannot sleep." The young man confesses with a slight tremble in his voice.

"And because you cannot, so have I come to you." She caresses his skin and he can almost miss it or mistake it for a sigh of the wind. "Sleep, little one." She says airily "Me and my kind will be waiting for you there. We will dance the night away until you can no longer recall your name!" She says happily and for a moment, it almost seems that the forest has fallen silent. She blows in his face and he feels the cool patch of skin where her breath lands. "Sleep Merlin, tomorrow is yet ways away. We'll take care of you."

His eyes begin to drop and his body feels like a ton of rocks. She is so close to him and he can see every detail of her little form and she is beautiful and wild. And she smiles at him kindly.

"Sleep, Merlin." She commands.

And so he does.

The next morning he wakes up and he feels more rested than he has felt in years, but there is a slight tingle in his legs, almost as if he had been dancing the whole night.

The light streams trough the thick foil of the trees and he wonders if he has talked to someone the night before, he can almost recall it, but as he looks around and there is no one to be found.

He thinks of little bodies and paper-thin wings, clothes made out of leaves and food of a kind he has never tasted before. But the fleeting images are banished in a blink and his eyes adjust to the green again.

He looks east at the direction of the castle and his eyes sadden. He thinks perhaps it is time to go back home.

 **Abril: Mab was such an excellent character; I really wish she had returned at least another two minutes haha.**

 **The title comes from the very last line Mercutio speaks of Mab in 'Romeo and Juliet', it's very great and you should totally go read it.**

 **If anyone is interested:**

en . Wikipedia wiki/Queen_ Mab


End file.
